I see you.
I know you love your kids.
Trying hard to create lasting family memories.
I see how much effort you put in to make the holidays special. (Plus how hard you were already working to get them to eat decent meals. Do their homework. Pitch in around the house...)
But we look around and see so many reasons to believe that we’re not measuring up. Then we feel guilty that we're missing out on something we were supposed to have because we couldn't seem to get it all together.
And we push ourselves to work harder.
... if you just phrase your requests differently, then maybe you wouldn’t be fighting about chores or be the only one that does them!
… if you could have just been patient for 5 more minutes, you wouldn’t have ruined the entire morning.
… if you just find the right system, you wouldn’t have to keep dropping off their clarinet at school and your living room wouldn’t look like FEMA should rent you a trailer.
You think you’d be a better person if you would fold laundry or go to the gym instead of rewatching Schitt's Creek for the fourth time.
You think you would finally feel good about yourself and finally be able to relax, guilt-free.
Believing that you are a good mom...
makes you an even better mom.
This is not an inspirational platitude. There are dozens of studies showing that what we believe about a person changes their performance.
It changes everything from how many pushups a person can do, to their grade on a math test, to how much money they will donate to a cause.
Strengthen your relationships.
Help you see creative solutions.
Make you easier to talk to.
Give you more patience.
Make your home a more fun place to live.
But wait, isn't mom guilt just part of the whole “parenting deal”?
The short answer is no.
Mom guilt is not biologically wired into our psyches. There are societal, cultural, and political reasons why moms today feel so gosh darn guilty. Believe it or not, other cultures don’t experience the same level of mom guilt that we do.
That pisses me off. It doesn’t have to be this way.
No More Mom Guilt is...
For moms who are ready to quit feeling like they’re messing up their kid’s lives, despite their best efforts.
For moms who are ready to ditch the constant feel pressure to be better and do more.
Uses neuroscience and psychology to rewire our social conditioning. But it's easy and fun.
(Because we already do enough hard, un-fun things 😂.)
I’m going to show you how dropping mom guilt will actually make you a better mother. (Like a 2-for-1 sale. You’ll feel better and be a better mom!)
And we are going to do it during the holiday season which can be the MOST difficult time of year to not feel guilty.
>> Start feeling less guilt the very first week using a tool designed to help you break the habit of talking to yourself like a middle school mean girl.
>> Identify your priorities so you can quit pushing yourself to exhaustion trying to meet all your responsibilities. Imagine a simpler, more joyful holiday season once you stop doing the thankless bits you hate.
>>Set up an “early warning system” by learning how to use your brain and body’s connection to know when you are on the wrong track. (So you can change course before the trainwreck 😂)
>> Begin rewiring your brain to be more helpful and less overwhelmed, less afraid of judgment, and less inclined to people-please. Rewiring your brain puts feeling better on autopilot.
>> Get better at setting boundaries and holding them. Would you like to stop proofreading papers at 10:30?
>> Develop a safe community of mom friends who truly support you without judgment. ❤️Get me on that waitlist!
1. Being on Your Own Side
2. Doing What Matters
3. Adopting Judgment-Proof Practices
4. Good Fences (Boundaries) Make Good Families
What's Inside No More Mom Guilt?
Module 1: Be on your own side
We all know that we should “believe in ourselves” but how do you actually do that? I mean, it’s not like we want to think we’re screwing up our kids. In this module, we will...
- Practice spotting the crappy messages moms get bombarded with that keep you believing you have to do more and be better.
- Learn what to ask yourself to quickly dial down mom guilt. (Just one question and it’s so simple you will swear it won’t work. But then it WILL.)
- Start noticing the great parts of who you are as a mom. Feeling good about what you already do well creates an upward spiral of good things.
- Role model for our kids what strong self-worth looks like. You can’t tell teenagers anything. 😂 They have to see you doing it first.
Module 2: Doing What Matters
Never doubt again what to do and what to let go of. This is crucial for the holiday season!
Expectations on moms are crazy. So crazy that we literally can’t meet them all. We couldn’t even meet them all even with a team of helpers! Yet we still feel guilty and keep trying.
So if you can’t do it all, you need a system to figure out what to do. That system starts with identifying your priorities.
This isn’t some airy-fairy theoretical stuff. Rather it’s a quick way to know what needs your attention, where to create a shortcut, and what to skip altogether!
- Identify your big-picture priorities. These are the priorities that matter.
- Practice finding shortcuts / asking for help / not doing low-priority tasks.
- Having support is KEY, especially if your family is used to a certain level of *ahem* Mom’ll-do-it-all-service.
- Focusing on doing what matters means you’ll feel calmer and less likely to yell because you won’t be trying to do it all while everyone else is chillin’.
This is the module where you stop staying up late to finish “one more thing”. It will set you up for a much easier and more joyful holiday season!
Module 3: Adopting Judgment-Proof Practices
Ever had someone “helpfully” point out how you’re parenting wrong? (That’s rhetorical. We all have 👈 )
As the mother of a devout nonconformist, I’ve had more than my fair share of judgment. I’m basically Wonder Woman with her deflector bracelets when it comes to other people’s thoughts about my family.
In this module, you’ll learn…
- 3 ways you were socialized that make judgment so triggering.
- Understanding these powerful social forces is like getting new glasses; you’ll be able to see people’s comments in a totally new way.
- 2 simple sentences that take the sting out of feeling judged.
- The non-combative way to incur less judgment in the first place.
BONUS MODULE: Unpacking Thanksgiving
This bonus week is only available in the Holiday Edition. This week is content-free so that we can...
- Celebrate our wins. Noticing where we are making progress solidifies the learning.
- Answer any questions that have come up as we’ve put the first 3 modules into practice.
- Problem solve for the parts that didn’t go as well as we’d have liked.
Module 4: Good Fences (Boundaries) Make Good Families
Setting boundaries is a key, key skill for reducing mom guilt, Our culture depends on moms feeling guilty so that we don’t ask for help or say no to extra work (we don’t exactly say yes either - more like we just don’t say no).
We’ll take the generic idea of “setting boundaries” and make it specific and tangible. In this module, you’ll learn...
- What a boundary can and can’t do so that you use boundaries in constructive ways.
- The mind-body trick to identify the red flags for when you need to set a boundary.
- Why setting boundaries increases your family’s sense of connection.
- A simple exercise to build the skill that makes setting boundaries easier IRL.
Even if you’ve struggled with boundaries your whole life (that’s me), this module will help you get more comfortable setting them.
How does No More Mom Guilt work?
Each Monday you’ll get a “No Guilt Guide” with that week’s big ideas. Read it or listen to the audio, then put it into action.
For each big idea, you’ll be offered short “in real life” (IRL) exercises so that you can apply the ideas to your own life right away. These exercises are like a 2-bite brownie - quick, delicious, and easy to work into your day.
On Thursdays, we’ll come together for a weekly live group call. These calls are your chance to get all your questions answered, share successes and struggles, and get suggestions on how to customize these practices so they work best for you.
All calls are recorded and questions can be submitted ahead of time so you’ll get what you need, even if you can’t attend the call live.
We’ll do this all together in a private Facebook community of like-minded moms. One of the best ways to feel better as a mom is to realize that we are not alone. This is a judgment-free place where you won’t have to pretend that you have it more together than you do. That alone will help you reduce mom guilt.
(AKA what I know about mom guilt)
For people who just met me, it may look like Barbie married Ken and they had 2 perfect kids. Ta-dah!
Hahaha. Nope. We’ve been through some sh*t.
The short version is that I was a super great “kid” mom. Organic baby carrots. Themed birthday parties. Biggest fan on the sidelines. I tried to do it all. Even then I had mom guilt, but it was like a normal, sucks-but-I-can-manage-it amount.
And hit. And hit.
It seemed like almost overnight, we went from super close family to being tested in almost every imaginable way. At one point, our son’s guidance counselor told us, “I’m sorry. You seem like really nice people. But this is gonna be rough.”
“Rough” was an understatement and I was crushed. The worst part was I didn’t know what I’d done wrong and how to fix it. Other people had lots of opinions. I had lots of guilt.
Turns out that fixing it started with me. That “normal” amount of mom guilt was wreaking havoc in all kinds of ways. Mom guilt had me doing way too much, hating to disappoint anyone, putting my own needs last, and biting my tongue about what I really thought.
My son’s rebellion had done me a favor because healing mom guilt was the first step to changing things for me as a parent and for us as a family.
Loving your kids while beating up on yourself is a really inefficient way to parent.
Dropping mom guilt meant I stopped taking responsibility for what wasn’t mine. It helped me get really clear about my priorities. I stopped feeling guilty when the stuff that didn’t matter didn’t get done.
Dropping Mom guilt meant I could be more honest about what I was thinking and feeling. I didn’t have to be relentlessly cheerful. I could be disappointed / frustrated / angry / sad and so could they.
Our home became a really safe place to be yourself. Safety isn’t optional if you want to really connect and know what’s going on with your kids.
Of course, not having mom guilt isn’t a silver bullet. Stuff still went wrong. But we were so much more connected. More forgiving. More flexible in seeing potential solutions.
We had more fun and built the kind of adult relationship I’d been dreaming of all along.
But the holidays are such a busy time...
I hear you. But I think that’s what makes the holidays the BEST time. Dialing down the mom guilt will free up time and make the holidays way more enjoyable.
Imagine what it would be like to get through your family gatherings without wanting to hide in the bathroom because your sister-in-law said that thing that always reminds you of all the specific ways you suck.
Imagine not driving yourself into the ground trying (and still failing) to get it all done.
Imagine spending time with your family doing things you actually enjoy. Whether that’s having time to make cookies, read just for fun, watch movies, or go ice skating.
Or letting yourself off the hook because your family isn’t like that and you so wish it was.
I’ve heard from so many of you that you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with all the extra responsibilities you’ve been managing. Heck, even before the holidays start ramping up.
Dumping mom guilt will be a delightful way to take some of that pressure off and start feeling better fast.
You slide into Thanksgiving feeling better, more relaxed, calmer than you do today. I’ve included so much support because I want you to get some relief!Join the waitlist
Great! I just have a couple of questions.
How much time is required?
What’s the schedule for live classes?
What if I can’t make group calls?
Can I join if I don’t have teenagers?
But my child has special circumstances…
No More Mom Guilt
Four Key Big Ideas that Reduce Guilt
Shortcuts Guidebook / Audios
In Real Life Exercises
Weekly Live Group Support Calls
Private Community of like-minded Moms